betsuni v.13 | and so the mayday craze continues XD

saturday \| 02 12 2006
i think ahpeh tagged me. ^^; 4 THINGS MANY DON'T KNOW [~] i had depression [~] i had wanted to get married at 21 (my bf don't want cuz he say must save money first pouts) [~] i used to shit in my pants in pri sch because i hated the school toilets (only got squating ones! >_<) [~] i really have no idea what else; there must be a reason why pple don't know stuffs abt others right.. ;) 4 MOVIES I COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN [~] infernal affairs [~] HP series [~] love actually [~] can't think of anything else offhand 4 PLACES I HAVE LIVED [~] marine vista [~] the springside [~] - [~] - 4 TV SHOWS I LOVE [~] goong [~] kami sama mou sukoshi dake [~] pride [~] 4 PLACES I'VE BEEN TO FOR VACATION [~] US [~] France {~] London [~] Japan 4 OF MY FAVOURITE FOODS [~] warm choc cake [~] apples [~] sashimi [~] japanese rice XD 4 PLACES I WOULD RATHER BE [~] hell [~] heaven (if these two places even exist) [~] not at home [~] Japan 4 FAVOURITE SONGS [~] 可樂戒指 (written by 阿信) [~] perhaps love (J and Howl; theme song of goong) [~] 告訴我 (by 陳綺真) [~] most mayday songs lah 4 OTHERS I WANT TO TAG [~] not many people read my blog so i guess this is redundant =) 4 THINGS ON YOUR CHRISTMAS WISHLIST [~] sony vaio C! [~] SEP approval to my first choice (haven't chosen yet XD\|\|\|) [~] $5000 [~] a car (it's a WISHlist right =p) 4 THINGS I WOULD GRAB IN A FIRE [~] wallet [~] handphone [~] can't think of anything else offhand that i can manage to grab without losing my life 4 MOST MEMORABLE EXPERIENCES [~] SCIP 2001! T_T [~] JC / council life [~] good times spent with him* [~*] working at SWM! =) what a crazy thing to do. killed quite alot of brain cells. haha. ninchan got smitten over mayday at 06:23 p.m. [ ]

saturday | 25 11 2006

i'm so freaking pissed. well, i was in a bad mood the whole day, but one last straw broke the camel's back, and this blog is going to be about that.
the people living in my area somehow don't like to park their cars at the front of the house, ie they like to park outside beside the kerb. that's ok as long as cars still can drive past, even though some inconvenience is caused because cars going in and out always have to let each other pass first. then the kerb outside my house is fairly short, so it's impossible for one car to park there without blocking anyone's gate. BUT my neighbour LOVES parking by that kerb (maybe cuz no other places left?), and instead of blocking her own gate, she blocks MY gate. and when we want to drive in or out, it's literally impossible, partly also because of other cars parked on either side of the road. (but she's still at fault!)

and looking at the angle i took the photo, you'd realise that parallax error came into play, and the car was blocking MORE of my entrance than the picture shows.
so i rang their doorbell, and cuz their door was open, when they said the car was theirs, i just shouted to them stuffs like "that's so inconsiderate" and "why don't you just park right in front of your own gate".
and i'm still not satisfied! damn it lah. i hate inconsiderate people. people who bang into you and stare at you as though you ought to be the one apologising. people who do not leep left on the MRT escalators and just stare at you when you shout (because several previous attempts came to naught) 'excuse me' as though you're the only one trying to catch the train. argharghargh.
stupid pms!!! >_<

ninchan got smitten over mayday at 07:25 p.m.
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monday | 06 11 2006

hmmm. i wonder if i'm a cold-blooded animal or what, but i've finished the 8th episode of 1 litre of tears and i haven't shed a single tear. and am wondering how people do. i mean, i only cry for dramas which have bgr problems XD like pasta, gong etc you know. for such illness, family and friendship shows.. i honestly feel nothing la. i think i really am cold-blooded XD i dun feel pity for her! maybe because i still stick to the belief that we all live to die. so die early = less suffering = better! ^^;; and family arh.. my own family so un-family, so i'm like super cynical of family ties lor. hee.
tmr is the last presentation i have for this sem, and next week is the last report i have. after that it's a week of study break then exams for one more week then mayday! XD although my paper clashes with the concert, but it's only 50MCQs and an essay, so hopefully i can finish by 630pm and chiong to indoor stadium! diedie must finish before other pple or else confirm drag till ~715 then jam. =X
btw i'm v happy with this sem's CA! i'm ban gong ban du-ing but my grades are not affected! lol. got back 2 term papers, got 14/20 (mean is 14.2) and B (mean around there i think). not bad leh considering i started on both at ~10pm on the day before i need to hand it in XD|| and my tests, i scored above mean for 3 out of 4. =) bu cuo bu cuo!
so i believe if i work hard during study break, i should be able to create some miracles (ie score >4 for CAP XD) this sem. wish me luck! =) and good luck to all those who're having exams much earlier than me! jiayou! at least you can start relaxing much earlier.. =)

ninchan got smitten over mayday at 07:13 p.m.
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saturday | 14 10 2006

arh!!!!! i've just started watching 微笑pasta (smiling pasta) and i've totally fallen in love with 張棟樑 (nicholas zhang) again! he's SOOOOO cute! >_< when he smiles, act cool or anything, just as long as i see his face i just get so mesmerised! >_< and the worst is he's acting with cyndi wang, the female artiste i hate most so i just feel so sad for him. LOL. and so jealous of her lah. =( if only it's a female artiste i like, then i'll definitely LOVE the drama like hell lah. boohoo. and his voice is so nice. =) i love him! omg. and he's NOT YET 25. hee.
i'm in love again. XD

ninchan got smitten over mayday at 06:50 p.m.
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tuesday | 29 08 2006 | 謝霆鋒's birthday

hmmm. happy and sad. =X
強辯's album will be released in singapore!! omg. what a surprise =) and i heard 1234 in the car today! sounds so different from the mp3 i have. but never mind i like XD and according to this, i think i'll L-O-V-E the album XD||| and if i'm not wrong it only has 2 tai yu songs. hmmm. all those 台客-like songs not inside. LOL. but i wonder why they're using 1234. not 找尋你呼喚你 or 彩虹的另一端. i personally like 甜蜜的願望 alot but it's a tai yu song so cannot broadcast =( nevermind. i just hope they can come to singapore!!! XDDDDDD then if everyone only goes after the cow and monkey, i will pluck the flower!!! XD|||
ok now for sad part =( today no work no school. so in the morning i cleared quite a few things quite happy with myself decided to go down and meet him. at least can give him a surprise. then it started to POUR =( and the worst is today he had a looong break =(((( why didn't i work today!!!! bah. but nvm. my irrational self told me i must go down cuz i missed him too much (think i'm a goner la i_i) so i bluffed my dad i wanted to go cut hair and buy some stuffs. i only wanted a lift to the mrt station but he asked me to take the car > < it's not a good thing because that means i cant stay in town as long as i want. so i drove down and met him.. he didn't seem surprised/happy or what and only walked talked with me for a while and asked me to go back. then on the way home i was so sian i just drove at 50kph at the slow lane. dunno what i was thinking about also. =(
有時我在想我這麼做值得嗎.為他付出那麼多,他知道嗎?他會開心嗎?那我會比較開心嗎?

ninchan got smitten over mayday at 06:53 p.m.
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wednesday | 16 08 2006

原來生一個人的氣也可以是這麼痛苦的.第一次因為他而哭,還哭得好慘.或許是太久沒有哭了,所以一開始就停不下來.我又開始亂想東西了.我在他心中到底佔有什麼樣的位置?他是否只有在一個人孤單寂寞時才會想起我?
我發覺我太投入這段感情,已經陷得太深,無法自拔了.開始生他的氣時,分手的念頭逗留在我腦海里好一陣子,但如果我真的說出口,傷心的、後悔的應該只有我一個吧.
或許當我打算不再繼續打工的時候,答案自然會出現.

ninchan got smitten over mayday at 12:56 a.m.
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sunday | 11 06 2006

lol just a quick update about my recent life since it's so long since the last entry XD although the main reason why i'm blogging now is 'cause i just read the newspaper article on yanming that was published on zaobao on wed (that's how busy i am XD|||)
when i read the article i realised how 'off' i've been on mayday news =X and the feeling of wanting to be crazy over them has come back once again! esp when i see how SWEET yanming and his fiancee are! just like in KL when i saw him run to put his hands around her.. >_< and on wed when ahpeh, rj, leong and i went KTV, AI QING LU is out!!! i went crazy the moment i knew the mtv was out! i couldn't even be bothered to sing, just glued my eyes to the tv screen XD and that really made me feel like going to the taiwan concert! ARGH. i miss mayday and that cow =X i mean, how long has it been since they came! bah =(
as for work, i like my p/t job. =) i'm emphasising p/t 'cause if you'd want me to work for life in that job, i think i'd flip. yesterday i was just talking to another p/t waitress who's waiting to go uni, she was saying that she liked the work there, so she doesn't know why the other f/t waitresses don't like it as much, and our reasoning is that if you were stuck with such a job until you're able to find another better (hopefully) job, it's really quite sian. and the pay is not that good. XD|||
world cup is here! let me do some advertising. sun with moon japanese dining cafe at wheelock place 3rd storey is open till 2am daily during the world cup period! last orders at 130am, we serve finger food and drinks! =) and if you're lucky, i'll be your waitress for the night! LOL. and we also broadcast all the matches that are shown on SCV starting from 9pm, as well ast the repeat telecasts. but it's so distracting. yesterday at 9pm was the eng vs par match, and i so wanted to just watch the match. esp when the section i was stationed at was where the projector screen was. =.= and all the customers at that section were looking at the match lah. hopefully that will make more people know that we're showing the matches. after all on the opening day, only a table of 8 was present. bAh.
alright. tummy ache and then it's off to work. =)

ninchan got smitten over mayday at 10:15 a.m.
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thursday | 20 04 2006

woah! it's been so long since i last blogged! as those who'd be reading this now would know, i don't come online much these few days.. well, i still do come online to check my email and stuffs, but i just don't go on ptt msn etc so my presence isn't really felt. XD but if you want to talk to me, you can always get google chat! like how nat and my sis talk to me when i don't go on msn XD
anyway after the exams, i think i'm gonna get a new layout. =) either bleach or chibi gallery! it's a new thing my sis and i came across and it's freakin' cute! spent alot buying their figurines though =X but i'm earning money from selling mayday's stuffs so whatever. LOL.
well since i don't go on ptt and mdmd.net, i've really been very off about mayday stuffs. it's good in some sense; i don't get so crazy over them now. and anyway, it has been some time since all of them appeared on tv (maybe they do appear more now that they're in CHINA promoting stuffs but i don't think i'd like to watch those so it's alright XD). so since i don't get to see all of them (ashin's one of my least favourite; i don't get to see ming stone cow so WHATEVER >_<) the craziness has really worn off. good or bad, i don't know yet. let's wait till the next time they come to singapore and we shall all find out. but if cow's not coming, i guess i really won't be that crazy. XD cow's still what's sustaining my interest! i just look at our photo and smile like an idiot to myself. *blushes* muahahaha. but hey! i've just started on "after school, monster's house!" as my bedtime reading material (i know i'm like super slow; i haven't even started on su ren zi pai officially XD) and MING IS SUPER CUTE! the articles contributed by him are just so funny! XD he's like a little boy inside! maybe i just like guys who're like that, just like how i really adore daniel when the way he talks resembles a little boy XD and just reading those stuffs make me smile and start to like mayday all over again. or maybe just ming. XD
exams are just round the corner! 26 27 2 and 4. then 5/5 is KTV day. and work starts on 6/5. =X i've not really started on studying and that sucks. my CA for this sem is horrendous and i really have to do super well for all my exams (maybe jap is more safe) to get Bs, let alone As. =( it's scary, but somehow i can only study at night. so it's bad because i don't exactly like the idea of sleeping late as it'll upset my sleep cycle and i'll die when there're morning papers. >_< but it's only 4 days. so i'll hang on. =) and anyway 2 papers are MCQ and i'm more or less steady for jap so i just have to push myself a little harder these days. =) trying to be optimistic! and on 5/5 i can go ktv with s60 girls! *beams* it's been quite some time since i ktv-ed. =( mayday zayin so what nicholas teo omg i can't wait! yeah! but after that it's not gonna be v relaxing. i just got a waitress job starting 6/5. had wanted to try for a part-time kino bookkeeper (that's the only word in the dictionary with 3 double letters in a row =) job that only work weekends so tt i can continue even when school starts but my sis told me some jap restaurant in wheelock seem to need people so i went down immediately. and they too gave me the job immediately. lol. doesn't pay bad too, 6/hr on weekdays and 6.5 on weekends. and it's jap! so i can get practice. =) and i may be able to cont on weekends when school start. but during holidays i still have to insert time for RAG (which i totally forgot about when i was looking for a holiday job =X) so i think i'm so going to die. or let jingyi down. >_<
oh btw i won a nicholas teo zhang dong liang autographed CD! yeah! i don't know if it's because of Astrid or what (a taiwan mayday fan who started liking nicholas some time ago after seeing him) but i've started to take a liking to him too. hee. he's really quite cute, esp when he smiles, and he strikes me as a sincere person.. i even wanted to go to his autograph session! but held myself back because of impending deadlines (which unfortunately, i didn't spend the time i saved doing = =). then he appeared on a tv show which was giving awway 10 autographed CDs and i emailed immediately. and it's funny - the deadline was stated as 5pm 19/4 but i got the email saying i have won at 10am that day. heh. bluff pple one. lol. but whatever i've won! yeah! although rj say maybe it's 'cause no one entered to contest. haha. =) happy is i!
so many people going HK for mayday concert arh.. well.. let's think about the merits of NOT going instead of what we're missing out: 1) won't have to squeeze with (ashin-crazy) PRCs! 2) save money! 3) less distraction! (ok this is very qian qiang XD) nvm. at least peirong says she'll get me souvenirs and help me buy ming xing shang pin. lol.
time to hit the books arh!!! i only have motivation for psych and jap. howhowhow. i so don't want to study for JS GEK and soci. =( sucks! enough ranting. *sobs*

ninchan got smitten over mayday at 10:35 a.m.
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friday | 10 03 2006

sigh. the feeling that i'm a failure is starting to sink into me again. because of sleeping at 3am for 3 days in a row. i didn't think much of it when it was to read Harry Potter (more abt this later), but because it was a gruelling time trying to squeeze things out of my pea-brain for last minute assignments, it felt super horrible. i hate myself. all over again. it's always times like this that i feel like that. when i know that i could have control over something, but slowly let it slip past me. i had all the time i needed over the weekened, but i wasted it. boo. i have this feeling this is going to be a long post. been some time since i had the urge to blog anyway. nothing interesting though. =)
anyway things are slightly better for the moment, after the worse individual assignment is done. for which i simply waffled my way through. an essay that was supposed to be 5 pages long ended up having only 2 pages, more than half of which was pure fluff. whatever. i wouldn't care if i get 0 for it - i had contemplated just not handing it up anyway. so even 1 is better than nothing. =)
i'm supposed to be on my way home now. but i'm downloading something and NUS' server is super fast. things that can take me up to one day to download at home takes only one hour in school. the speed is like 100kbps. usually it goes up to 200kbps if the site i'm downloading from is spare. and i'm like super happy when i see that my home computer is downloading at a rare 20kbps =.= and i found a bag in which i can bring the big laptop, thus it's going to be much more convenient for me next time should i need to use the computer =) it may be heavy and mafan because the battery is spoilt and i have to find a space with a powerpoint in order to use it, but it's still useful and i can save the money i had wanted to use to buy a laptop which i can bring to school.
and to add on the above point, i've been feeling super poor these few days even though my spendings are not high at all. i just feel the urge to want to save. or rather, there really is nothing i want to buy at this point of time. which is really funny. because usually when i'm feeling down, my first instinct is to binge and buy anything that catches my sight, both of which requires me to spend alot. and when val told me that maybe can find a job during the hols to earn money, i just felt like there's no motivation to do so. since i don't even know what i'm going to do with that money, i rather just stay at home everyday and sleep and eat whatever there is at home and perhaps find the time to catch up on all the mayday shows i've been downloading and chucking in my folder without even finding out what exactly it is. but that is if the craze hasn't subsided. which brings me to the next point.
i didn't go on p1 or p2 for almost a week. and i didn't feel the urge to either. and when i had wanted to download some things but realise that the links are dead, i felt totally alright, like it didn't matter at all. at this rate, i really wonder how long more it'll take for me to be immune to them. especially if yellowcow doesn't come along with them for their next trip to singapore. XD but maybe it's also because most of the news are on ashin and only him. no yanming T_T or maybe because i've found a new love - Harry Potter! XD
and now we come to HP. heh. my sister had the first 3 books and wanted to give them to my cousin because she was clearing her books. so i thought i should just read them first to prevent them from going to waste. i didn't read them previously because i thought it was quite stupid since i had already watched the movie. but boy was i wrong. the first book was very much like the movie, which i remembered quite well too, so i wasn't quite addicted to it. it was the second movie that i couldn't really remember, so i was totally hooked onto it and started sleeping at 2! then the 3rd book was also quite different from the movie so it made me stick to it too. and after that my late nights all consisted of HP. for almost 2weeks already i think. i'm on the 5th book now, which is very gruelling for me, because i have to curb the urge to read it when i'm doing my homework. and whenever i finish my last minute homework at 2am, i reward myself with one chapter of HP but it usually doesn't stop there because i'm so addicted, thus i end up sleeping at 3. miraculously, i'm able to wake up at 8am, though i feel mentally exhausted the whole day through. but i so badly want to know everything that has happened thus far! and my sister says i'll feel a great sense of loss after i finish reading half blood prince. which i expect of myself too. just like how an overdose of mayday gives you those eerie withdrawal symptoms. XD
turns out that the end of this entry is quite light-hearted. and i'm feeling better too after ranting about HP! hee. but i had missed out something i wanted to rant when i first started out this post: i wished that i could have selective memory. =( as in, i dread to be reminded of those embarrasing moments when i totally wished that i had vanished from this earth that very moment. never mind i don't think i know how to explain it well; i'm just too self-conscious. or perhaps even ego-centric. which just goes to show how immature i am. bAh.

ninchan got smitten over mayday at 05:24 p.m.
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sunday | 26 02 2006

FREAK. lee teng lost. T_T he got 3rd for popularity! it's very high considering he usually ranks quite low. =( i was still so damn happy when he did super well and got super high score. but i started to worry when the stupid cuifang from 4th become 2nd place. because her popularity very high. =( and even though lee teng got 4.8 higher than her, it was still not enough. who knows how much (thousands? millions?) more phone calls she got. BOO. lee teng should have just paid someone 10 thousand to call for him lor. anyway he can get 50 thousand AND a car in return. i think he will still get signed on though. BUT i believe he needs the money and car more than the winner. =( lee teng~~~~~~~~~~~~
feels worse than when weixiong lost. boo....

ninchan got smitten over mayday at 11:01 p.m.
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monday | 20 02 2006

omg this is freaking funny! was laughing like hell AT THE END! it's alright if you don't know Japanese! just watch it and LAUGH. please watch all the way till the end! XD
this mid-term break is like shit. it's only 4 days to begin with, out of which i'll have to go to school on 3 days. and the only real holiday i have is more than half gone. i don't quite get the difference since i'll also have one free day during normal school days =.=
ah peh, i can go queensway on friday but then i'm only free after 2pm.. booboo =( i wanna get nike dunks though. and ripples flip flops. =)

ninchan got smitten over mayday at 05:43 p.m.
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tuesday | 14 02 2006 | VALENTINE'S DAY! XD

yay! i got a bouquet of flowers today! or should i say, toNIGHT! XDDDD I LOVE YOU DEAR! -muacks- but i prefer sunflowers.. =( didn't know my taste was so cheap. lol. so my valentine's day wasn't wasted by slacking at home and sleeping my day away. XD oh my sis bought something from quebec.. it's a heart shaped chocolate 'box' with turtle chocolates inside.. LOL. should be yummy too but i cant eat them now cuz my throat is giving me problems. =(
and there're so many things to do, i haven't started on any! sometimes i really hate tuesday although it's my free day because i end up waking up late, not doing anything, and sleeping my whole day away. boo.

^_^

ninchan got smitten over mayday at 10:37 p.m.
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friday | 10 02 2006

today quite alot of things happened. and will be happening. XD
in the morning the stupid traffic light outside my estate don't know why after super long never turn red yet, so i cannot cross the road. but i was ok with it since the bus not there. then i saw my bus approaching and was like "TMD!!!" so when the lights turned red i imm ran across.. the green arrow was out but there was no cars turning right so it was ok. then this stupid car on the far left of the road honk me! wtf! it's red light leh! then i later saw that he chuang hong deng lor.. = =
ok then this happened on my way home on the mrt. i have to change trains at JE station, and i'll always try to be the typical kiasu singaporean and stand near the door so that i'll get a seat. JE to khatib is quite far you know. somemore nearing peak period so alot of pple le. then the train that came was the new kind of trains, those that have less seats because they 'chop' off the seats near the door for people to stand. so i was like "shit this time really must chiong!" so two boys in front of me went in first, then as i was walking in, this fat lady stepped on my slipper and i was like "ARGH!" but of course never shout out lah. then usually i'll diao the pple who step on me but this time i chionging for seat so cant be bothered, then heng i managed to kope the LAST SEAT! XD then the fat lady came and said sorry to me, and i was like nvm.. (i got my seat anw XD) then after i sat down, i realised that lady kept looking at me.. i was like "wth what's wrong with me lah". then after that i realised something. she was not fat. she was pregnant. = = so i think she was expecting me to give up my seat to her. then in my mind i was thinking "if you didn't step on my slipper, we both would have managed to get a seat!" so i went to fake asleep XD||| ok i admit i felt guilty lah. boo. but i made up for it! because when another pregnant lady came up, i gave up my seat to her! but i came up with the following thoughts:
if you're pregnant and expect pple to give up their seats to you, please DRESS AS THOUGH YOU'RE PREGNANT. sometimes i really don't know if people are fat or pregnant. serious. then sekarli they are fat, then you think they are pregnant so let them sit, they will feel offended one mah! then i had another evil thought: if you are pregnant, then go take cab suan le. no money to take cab? then how are you so sure you have enough money for your child? muahahaha.
ok my dad let me drive the car to airport to send shunwei off. and he took mrt. T_T i only asked to use the car because i thought he wouldn't be using it. but my mum wants to follow me to the airport! >_< i don't like to drive when either of my parents are in the car.. it's like ANYTHING you do they also got something to say. =( i mean, even my dad makes mistakes mah.. not as though our mistakes will really cost our lives.. =( when my sis is inside at least she doesn't say so much, i think because she also cannot tahan someone making noise when she's driving XD
and i hate traffic lights. sometimes i rather kena red light than green light. at least red light i know confirm have to stop, green light so uncertain. when i was driving home frm the mrt, i approached this traffic light that was green with the green arrows. meaning going to turn red soon. then got red light camera somemore. so i slow down. then slow down alot. but STILL GREEN. so i decided to zam accelerator. the moment i zam, it turned yellow. >_< then i imm zam brake cuz i super kiasee. WAH LAU! stupid traffic light lah! lucky i was alone in the car. or else confirm kena nag until~
after tackling jap proj proposal singlehandedly on behalf of a group of 4 ytd night (luckily one of them replied the email this morning in time for me to change the mistakes), next is JS proj. T_T i don't like projects. =( i don't mind individual ones though. heh. whatever lah. uni. only my first yr wor. >_<
oh and i think i don't want double major le. XD it was a dream after all..

ninchan got smitten over mayday at 06:39 p.m.
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tuesday | 07 02 2006

WEIXIONG IS BACK IN THE GAME!!!! WOOHOO!!! XDDDDD was so nervous when they were about to announce who the winner was though i was 90% certain it was going to be him.. =) yeahyay! but there can only be one ultimate winner in the end, i hope it's either weixong, liteng or yunying.. others are OK but IT BETTER NOT BE THAT PRC!!!!! >_<
alright back to the books~

ninchan got smitten over mayday at 09:02 p.m.
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wednesday | 01 02 2006

ARGHARGHARGH. i cant believe i cried but yeah i did. because weixiong lost in superhost! >_< and it's not really the fact that he lost lah. it's because he lost to that china girl who is so irritating, and because of the last scene shown on tv.. T_T
so weixong lost, and weixiong and li teng should be like very good friends.. [must have been hard on li teng too letting weixiong take his place =(] then at the end of the show everyone went up to weixiong to blahblahblah, only li teng was standing a distance away, then after everyone shook weixiong's hand, li teng just put his hand out, then weixiong went to shake it, and went over to give a hug.. and i cried at that moment! T_T GOSH. what the hell am i made up of. maybe because i like li teng. ^^;;; but i was thinking after that.. what if li teng was the one up there.. would he have made it and kicked that PRC out? >_< but anyway they have a revival round, so i hope weixiong can make it! >_<
and i recorded it for those interested. XD
CNY is no good for catching up on work despite being the longest 'weekend' of the year. BOO.

ninchan got smitten over mayday at 12:07 a.m.
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monday | 30 01 2006

somehow.. the mayday craze has really died down. =) and that's a smiley to celebrate it! lol.. ptt craze died down, won't feel frustrated even if i don't get to download their videos (not like i watch them anyway |||), and the urge to sell their stuffs for money is really getting stronger (just that somehow i just end up giving them away to mayday fans friends |||).. but well, everytime i see the photo of me and coba on the cover of my organiser, i just smile to myself like an idiot.. =.= much less needs to be said when i think about cow XD||||| anyway now i'm really hoping they don't come in the near future and don't have any new things for fans to buy and give me enough time to GIVE UP ON THEM. XD
anyway now that i've earned some 'income' from CNY, i hope i'll be able to save lotsa money.. things seem to be looking good since i don't spend alot in school 'cause i have fully packed days and can only munch on snacks in between, $1 being my budget.. XD and i don't really go out much, and even if i do, i don't spend much.. unless of course i'm going out with friends then alot would be spent on food. =X
but well my aim is saving up to buy a CAR.. so.. LOL. let's just wait on la. even if i don't spend a cent and save all my pocket money, it's still impossible to buy a car in the near future.. the cheapest and most acceptable one i've seen so far is a kia picanto DISPLAY car.. ie alot of pple touch le, door open and most probable SLAMMED close thousand times.. =.= and the ad puts from $29,999. chances are that means it's a manual (i dun mind and think it's quite cool but not pos if i want to share w my sis), non-leather seats (horrible 'cause they are more pest-friendly since they catch dust), COE 6 bidding (well the COE has been falling alot so maybe can get it in one bid).. but if it's an off-peak car, MAYBE got chance la. (imagine reaching school before 7am and leaving school after 7pm everyday @@") my bank now got $3000 (tmd lah look what mayday has done to me; i really ought to sell their stuffs to recoup losses!) one year i can only save MAX $2000 if i really save up like shit.. WHATEVER. i'm just dreaming. i even dream of striking toto. lol. but hey, isn't that everyone's dream.. or is it just me and my parents. =.= but anyway i guess i really do understand that gambling never works, just that desperate people need desperate measures BOO.
ok so CNY was alright. went to JB for dinner with paternal relatives on CNY eve night. then nothing much lah, not close to them too.. =X and CNY went to maternal's side.. i think my cousin's quite handsome leh! >_< i just sat down beside him and he talked to me then i abit shy shy like that but must try to hide! lol. and christopher lee was on TV at that time, i was looking at the TV and then my cousin and felt that he looked a tit bit like chris lee. LOL. and i wanted to ask if he had a gf. (and if he asked me why, i'll just say "i heard tt if u dun get a gf in uni, it's harder to get one when you're working" since this is his last sem. XD) i wanted to get his hp but didn't dare. BOO.
ok never mind i'm just crazy. maybe just feeling funny. me my sis and 2 cousins (the shuai cousin included XD|||) from my mum's elder sis used to be quite close, most probably due to the closeness of our ages.. then somehow we just stopped going to our grandma's house every week, stopped eating dinner there even if we went.. and just stopped talking. so its like even if we happen to be visiting our grandma at the same time, we don't talk. feels awkward.
and i feel that their mum is really a nice person. because i think their family doesn't really earn much, but his mum always gives $20 in an angpow.. even the other families who earn more give only $10? =.= ok not like i care alot about the amount inside, but sometime i just feel touched..? to me, the amount of money in an angpow should be according to 1) how much u earn and 2) how close you are to the other family (and thus their child). so when i get $20 from them and $10 from another richer family (the kaya factory owner only gives 10. POOP) i just feel quite >_< as though i ought not be receiving angpows from them to begin with. OK i'm just ranting random thoughts. =X or maybe they give $20 'cause my mum gives $20. lol.
shit i had wanted to have early days this long holiday. but poop parents = shit days. and homework undone! GOSH. my agenda is still UNTICKED. let's see. psych notes. JS notes. soci readings. jap test. chem tut. econs assignment. chem lab report. ARGH. workload is slowly crashing down on me!!! but i dun mind such life anyway. lol. =)

ninchan got smitten over mayday at 02:14 a.m.
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tuesday | 17 01 2006

oh man i'm full of disgust with xiao yuan superstar.. = = the contestants' standard are so low! i believe there're like MUCH MORE school kids out there who can sing much better.. i mean, they zao xia like hell, off tune so much.. cannot sing so well just choose a simple song lah.. rather ace a simple song than fail to impress with a hard song right.. i know i'm not a singer or someone professional but i believe that everyone can air their views right.. and i'm just stating FACTS. XP and no 人生攻擊 involved. =)
and not only the contestants arh.. the hosts also.. dasmond koh of course nothing to say, i believe he was actually put in to 'help' the other two.. junyang okok lah, still quite steady considering he's rather new.. as for the sugi arh.. really dunno why they chose him.. firstly, he was ousted in the first round of jue dui superstar, that means that his popularity is like definitely much lower than others. and then, i've been to the recording of superfunkies before, and he's the person who NGs the most! just some simple sentences and he can retake like up to 5 times?? if i'm not wrong, his chinese standard is already not very good to begin with, coupled with his lousy memory in remembering his lines, it just becomes disastrous. and what's with SHOUTING when you already have mike. gosh.
ok yes i'm just utterly disgusted. XD

ninchan got smitten over mayday at 04:31 p.m.
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monday | 16 01 2006

first time in a super long while that i'm having two blog entries in a day.. but anyway.. just heard something on tv and just felt really very happy..
the channel 8 9pm show 愛的掌門人 has really been using mayday's song for along of their previews.. everytime i hear i'll be so happy.. first it was 戀愛ing when the show hasn't started, then after that they used 溫柔(還你自由版) and today i heard 人生海海.. gosh.. i forgot if in btw they used other songs.. but just feel real happy.. and i think 愛的掌門人 always uses nice songs, like 王老五, 莫斯科沒有眼淚, some alex to song i forgot the name etc.. =)
可能有時候,快樂就是可以那麼單純..但是這種快樂的壽命往往是最短的..

ninchan got smitten over mayday at 08:48 p.m.
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monday | 16 01 2006

too lazy to blog about FHM, 'cause i more or less said what i had to say on rj's board.. haha =) anyway.. more about how i feel.. =X
昨天和小螞蟻講完話后,還以為我應該已經沒事了..可是今天忽然間想到的時候,又開始熱淚盈眶.. >_< 可能真的是奢望越大,失望越大吧..好討厭這種感覺..而且感覺上很多東西原本都有機會做到的..只是因為外圍因素而做不到,感覺更是遭透了.心裡還一直為自己感到不值.. 如果我擁有全世界的時間,再給我多一些錢.. XD||| 然後回來了又沒力氣或心情做任何東西,還好昨晚有做到應該做的功課,然後也沒太遲睡,所以今天精神還不會太差..
anyway i really have to thank ahpeh for talking to me last night.. =) although i really have no confidence of doing what i know i have to do to forget it all, but i am still very thankful to you for 開導-ing me.. XD
i just hope that it won't take too long for me to be able to carry on my life as usual.. sigh.

ninchan got smitten over mayday at 07:26 p.m.
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tuesday | 03 01 2006

haha at the request of ahpeh i shall blog.. XD just feel lazy to blog.. or maybe there's nothing really pertinent for me to blog about.
anyway.. yanming's engaged! >///< really hope he can be veryveryvery 幸福.. he looks so happy in the photos! really felt like crying when i first saw the photos.. because he looks sososo 幸福.. i cant really think of another adjective lah.. haha. and wang xingzhi looks so different.. haha. she looks much prettier in those photos than in person.. maybe because she was actually SMILING in the photos, and not like STARING.. ||| anyway.. 雖然你不會看到,但我還是祝你幸福!要他媽的給我永遠幸福下去! >0<
school's starting in a weeks time.. bidding has been alright so far, just that i don't think i'll be able to get one essential psych module so i've substituted it with a soci module.. i guess i'm more or less bent on doing a double major since i'm taking quite a few soci modules i would otherwise not care about.. so CAP4.0 here i come! >_< that means i'd have to score a CAP of at least 4.4 this sem to even things out. *dry laughter* and i hope i'll be able to get jap5! as well as a 6th module.. =) too bad i won't be able to take advanced translation cuz the exam clashes with PL1101E and i'll have to wait 2 more sems since it's only offered in sem2 =X [add-on] i just realised i paid 500pts for PL1101E! XOXOXOXO tmd. but then again, if i hadn't revise my bid from 400 to 550, i wouldn't be able to get it.. (but i would have been able to bid for CL3281!) nvm whatever =.=
feel like going back to HC one day for their orientation.. or at least for campfire. but well that'd have to depend on my classmates la. wouldn't want to go back alone. anyway when i was talking to ahpeh a few days back, i realised that my JC life was really wasted.. as in friendships.. i wasn't able to forge any strong friendships with anyone.. and i really have to thank mayday or i wouldn't even be close to ahpeh and rj, hence i'd really not have any close friends from JC. =X maybe it was a choice for me at that point of time, to isolate myself from everyone.. *shrugs* anyway it's over now, will just try not to be anti-social now if i have the choice. i guess at the end of the day, everyone needs friends. yeah? *shrugs*
msia FH next sat. =) looking forward to it again. because i saw some photos of huang niu. XD||| that's always what re-sparks my interest. which really makes me wonder if i'm chasing mayday or the guy who works for them. lol. but well i hope it'll be a good concert. rock zone! and if final FH coincides with sch hols, i'll definitely go too! XD

ninchan got smitten over mayday at 12:19 a.m.
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friday | 23 12 2005

ok ignore the previous entry if you wish. = = my relative did that. XD
now for some ku xiao bu de stuffs. my results. WAH SO UNEXPECTED! >_< actually i forgot that i could check my results until i saw the clock then i thought "oh! my results!" XD

the first and second modules were ok, though i had hoped for an A for CL2280 too. =X the I'M SO FREAKING SHOCKED BY SC1101E!!! as well as LAJ3203 = = i totally didn't study for soci! and i got B+! wow. i think my mid-term test really saved me. =) and i thought my biz jap was quite steady. what's with a B-. must be too little people taking the module so i'm left to dian di. BAH. (but honestly i didn't study for it either so i don't really have the right to complain |||) and I PASSED SS! muahahahaha. and with a C+, not a C. wah. and my CAP is not that bad it seems. =) far from my 4.5 aim but whatever, everyone knows my aims are just for show. lol. and i still can do honours with that CAP. but hell it's the first sem the road is still long~~~
my sister didn't drive the car out today. wondering if i should take a go at it. XD and thanks to nat and ah peh for caring. =)

ninchan got smitten over mayday at 01:19 p.m.
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wednesday | 21 12 2005

i wonder who still reads this now, but well, just wanna inform everyone out there that from now on, the propensity of me replying sms-es will be super low. 'cause i've decided to not give a care about anything, and that includes everyone out there. for a dying person, i guess nothing really matters.
maybe the only thing in my way now is the stupid concert on 14th Jan. sigh.

ninchan got smitten over mayday at 08:24 a.m.
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thursday | 15 12 2005

yohoo! i have a new blog.. XD but this blog still remains, 'cause the other blog is of a totally different characteristic.. =) here it is! =) i call it a song blog cuz there, i use songs to illustrate my feelings.. so no traces of mayday, except if i decide to use their songs, which should occur quite often. XD|||
anyway zayin's cd is coming out soon.. i hope i can get it tmr! and i wonder what stuffs they'll give out this time.. lol. kan bu qing is nice too! =) but i still prefer yu zhou.. haha. hope the whole album will be as good as the previous one, if not better.. though apparently this time there'll be more shu qing songs because in the last album, pple took more notice of blue eyes.. =X i just hope that there'll be songs that go the same way as unfinished melody! >_<
i really wonder what i should do these days. will all university holidays be like that? i mean, no homework, no nothing? that relaxed? XD|||

ninchan got smitten over mayday at 01:52 p.m.
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tuesday | 13 12 2005

as i read my past diary entries since i first started liking mayday, i realised everything has changed.. and it doesn't seem to be a good sign..
i still remembered that when rj and i knew tt some fans went to airport at 1+am to song ji when md came for the PS thing, we still thought they were siao.. but well.. aren't we like tt now? XD||| and the first time we went to jie ji, i gave something to guanyou and i was like "ARH!!!" so excited, esp since can like get to see them so up close.. haha. and then it all started to snowball.. like how we were so sad (ok, at least i was super sad) when we didn't manage to song ji for that time.. it's like.. we just began/begun (honestly i don't know the difference XD||) to expect so much more..
everytime they come, jieji and songji seems to be an inevitable part, as though it's part of the activities they'll be having here.. haha. and the first time i saw huang niu coming out.. OMG. i went berserk lah. when i think back now, i really admire myself for finding the courage to do that! XD (and to think so many pple still don't know it was me XD|||)
jieji and songji just for the sake of wanting to see them up close once more is alright.. but.. if it's because of hoping to be able to get their autographs, wanting to take photos with them, it's not that good anymore, is it? we just start expecting more.. that's why there'll always be some sense of disappointment..
i just start to wonder.. who are they to me now.. i don't think it's merely idols anymore.. it's wanting more out of them.. and when u see other fans talk to them, have close contact with them, you'll get envious and maybe even jealous.. and that's not a good reaction is it.. and you wish that you're one of them..
another mayday fan once told me something abt one of the members of mayday, and i think i admire him alot cuz of that.. she said that the reason why he acts the way he does is because he doesn't want to become someone even he himself would dislike just because he's a public figure, or just so that he can please his fans. maybe i don't want that to happen too.. i don't want to become someone i myself would dislike just because i'm going crazy over these 5 pple.. (honestly la everyone reading this blog would know that it has very little to do with those 5 idiots below XD) and i'm starting to hate myself because i went overboard on sunday.. =( and not only songji jieji, i even went to expo to wait for them; went to their supper place to catch a glimpse of them.. (ok maybe it's just HIM not them >_<) maybe if HE didn't come it wouldn't be that bad?
真的不想成為連自己都會討厭的人.. 可是好像已經太遲了.. 時間無法回轉; 做過的事也已經無法挽回.. 而期待的事是不可能那麼容易就放棄的.. 難道做這一切是因為要彌補永遠都到不了的從前? 畢竟自己是遲來的, 無論怎麼樣也都趕不上的吧..
seemed to have all these thoughts after talking to her.. really got to know quite alot of insights from her.. haha. and she's real nice to talk to! never really thought she'd be like that.. haha. anyway all these are really super random thoughts pieced together so if you can't catch the flow.. then nvm. XD
blogging really helps! yeah! Y^^Y <-- huang niu style XDDDD

ninchan got smitten over mayday at 06:01 p.m.
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sunday | 11 12 2005

and so it's over. Final Home Singapore Dec 10 2005. =) was a really great concert. won't type much here, all my memories will stay in my mind and diary =)
but now i'm just so close to tears. or rather, my tears are almost dried up. i just hate myself. maybe if i didn't go today, i would be happier. maybe not. but i'll never know. and for now, all i want is for this memory to be erased. but it can never happen. i'm so stupid. hopeless. whatever. maybe i deserve it. i guess i do.
mayday (general term, actually NOTHING to do with them) has seriously messed up my life. i didn't even know today was a sunday. and i've slept for an average of only 4 hours for the past 3 days. when it's the holidays. i thought it'd be worthed it, but now, maybe not, cuz it won't make a difference had i not put in so much effort.
i really wonder what i'm doing to my life. just destroying it. i really wish i was dead. poof. just vanish from the face of the earth.

ninchan got smitten over mayday at 11:28 p.m.
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saturday | 03 12 2005

omg my dad just gave me my pocket money for nov and dec.. seems like he'll just be giving me pocket money bi-monthly cuz it's a whole sum. and he said the money used to buy SGFH tix for me and my frens will be my pocket money for sept and oct. so ok lah, i'm not so poor now. LOL.
今天不知道為什麼感覺空空的.不是頭腦空空的空.可能是沒事做,感覺很空虛.想找本書來讀,但似乎沒什麼書能夠引起我的興趣.下個星期就是final home了,但不知道為什麼好像沒那麼興奮.如果是親戚要來的話我就放心了.
made an appointment with ENT of TTSH, but don't know if i should go. what if there really is nothing wrong with my ear, then wouldn't i be wasting the time of the doctor? and like my sister said (in compliance with MOH policies), depriving a real patient of the chance to seek earlier treatment. argh. =X well if i don't forget about the appointment on that day then i shall go XD
i'm feeling so lost! >_< i hate this feeling. wanting to do something with your time but not knowing what. gosh. =( i'm such a failure in running my life. =( boobooboo.
mayday should be arriving on 8th? wonder if the technicians are coming earlier or together! >_< doesn't matter i guess. ^^; and zayin's new album will be released soon! if it's done by avex like last time, i think it should be available in singapore? =) yu zhou (universe) is damn nice. just listening to the 1+min version is enough to make me tear!
oh btw this week's u-weekly has mayday on the cover. =) and it's quite a well-thought interview, very good work done by the reporter. =)
maybe i should just make another layout lah. lol. and sister! snuffcup's down. =X are you scrapping the account? more crosses will be appearing in my archives. >_<

ninchan got smitten over mayday at 07:37 p.m.
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saturday | 26 11 2005

w00t! three more days before the end of exams! guess i disappointed myself yet again by leaving everything till the last minute.. i have this very bad feeling that i'm gonna fail my SS. like, D? i got a C for the project (30%) and the exam was a flop.. so if i get a C overall i'm gonna be how happy lah. =( and sociology.. sigh. a B would be good enough but i think i'm gonna get a C. >_< as for EL, looking at the answer key, i really hope i can get at least a B+.. >_< and a B+ too would be good for translation. and jap! >_< maybe if i dedicate my WHOLE sunday and monday to it, i'd be able to chiong out an A-???!?! >_< argh. first sem like tt le. ARGH. and it NEVER works for me by saying things like "work harder next sem" 'cause it's been like tt since sec 2! >_< there's never been once in my life where i've really studied. i really wonder when i'll WAKE UP. i guess life has really been far too kind to me. i mean, who can ever manage to get to uni without having a taste of STUDYING. gosh. what's up with me man, why am i not cherishing what i have but letting it go to waste. >_<
anyway exams aside, my dad bought me a jap dictionary today! =) i think i like it. LOL. but wow it's really quite ex, $80+ wonder when i'll start using it. =) i like jap! again. LOL. still remember how i started detesting it in J1 and totally gave up on it. and the passion's back now! woohoo! XD that's good. =)
the first para and the second para is like how contradicting. one full of >_< the other =). muahahaha. i'm starting to become schizophrenic man i say. exams are really detrimental to one's physical and mental health. =X

ninchan got smitten over mayday at 10:51 p.m.
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monday | 21 11 2005

here's a new layout with a fresher look! XD wanted to put it up on 22nd nov as a first anniv thingy (read layout info XP) but won't be able to use the comp later so i'm putting it up 40 minutes earlier! XD|||
anyway exams so far have been fine.. =) today's basic translation was quite easy i suppose. sociology was a killer but that's only cuz i didn't study so whatever. XD 3 more to go but i guess after this week i'll just self-declare myself a holiday!
oh and my friends and sister have started asking me what i want for my birthday. LOL. but i really don't know what i want. or rather, the things i want are too expensive or she1 chi3 that it's not good to ask for them as presents, better to save up and get them myself. i want a Swatch skin! >_< and a damn good Japanese dictionary.
countdown: 8 more days to end of exams, 18 more days to birthday, and 19 more days to SG Final Home! woohoo! XD

ninchan got smitten over mayday at 11:19 p.m.
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saturday \| 25 11 2006
i'm so freaking pissed. well, i was in a bad mood the whole day, but one last straw broke the camel's back, and this blog is going to be about that. the people living in my area somehow don't like to park their cars at the front of the house, ie they like to park outside beside the kerb. that's ok as long as cars still can drive past, even though some inconvenience is caused because cars going in and out always have to let each other pass first. then the kerb outside my house is fairly short, so it's impossible for one car to park there without blocking anyone's gate. BUT my neighbour LOVES parking by that kerb (maybe cuz no other places left?), and instead of blocking her own gate, she blocks MY gate. and when we want to drive in or out, it's literally impossible, partly also because of other cars parked on either side of the road. (but she's still at fault!) and looking at the angle i took the photo, you'd realise that parallax error came into play, and the car was blocking MORE of my entrance than the picture shows. so i rang their doorbell, and cuz their door was open, when they said the car was theirs, i just shouted to them stuffs like "that's so inconsiderate" and "why don't you just park right in front of your own gate". and i'm still not satisfied! damn it lah. i hate inconsiderate people. people who bang into you and stare at you as though you ought to be the one apologising. people who do not leep left on the MRT escalators and just stare at you when you shout (because several previous attempts came to naught) 'excuse me' as though you're the only one trying to catch the train. argharghargh. stupid pms!!! >_< ninchan got smitten over mayday at 07:25 p.m. [ ]

monday \| 06 11 2006
hmmm. i wonder if i'm a cold-blooded animal or what, but i've finished the 8th episode of 1 litre of tears and i haven't shed a single tear. and am wondering how people do. i mean, i only cry for dramas which have bgr problems XD like pasta, gong etc you know. for such illness, family and friendship shows.. i honestly feel nothing la. i think i really am cold-blooded XD i dun feel pity for her! maybe because i still stick to the belief that we all live to die. so die early = less suffering = better! ^^;; and family arh.. my own family so un-family, so i'm like super cynical of family ties lor. hee. tmr is the last presentation i have for this sem, and next week is the last report i have. after that it's a week of study break then exams for one more week then mayday! XD although my paper clashes with the concert, but it's only 50MCQs and an essay, so hopefully i can finish by 630pm and chiong to indoor stadium! diedie must finish before other pple or else confirm drag till ~715 then jam. =X btw i'm v happy with this sem's CA! i'm ban gong ban du-ing but my grades are not affected! lol. got back 2 term papers, got 14/20 (mean is 14.2) and B (mean around there i think). not bad leh considering i started on both at ~10pm on the day before i need to hand it in XD\|\| and my tests, i scored above mean for 3 out of 4. =) bu cuo bu cuo! so i believe if i work hard during study break, i should be able to create some miracles (ie score >4 for CAP XD) this sem. wish me luck! =) and good luck to all those who're having exams much earlier than me! jiayou! at least you can start relaxing much earlier.. =) ninchan got smitten over mayday at 07:13 p.m. [ ]

saturday \| 14 10 2006
arh!!!!! i've just started watching 微笑pasta (smiling pasta) and i've totally fallen in love with 張棟樑 (nicholas zhang) again! he's SOOOOO cute! >_< when he smiles, act cool or anything, just as long as i see his face i just get so mesmerised! >_< and the worst is he's acting with cyndi wang, the female artiste i hate most so i just feel so sad for him. LOL. and so jealous of her lah. =( if only it's a female artiste i like, then i'll definitely LOVE the drama like hell lah. boohoo. and his voice is so nice. =) i love him! omg. and he's NOT YET 25. hee. i'm in love again. XD ninchan got smitten over mayday at 06:50 p.m. [ ]

tuesday \| 29 08 2006 \| 謝霆鋒's birthday
hmmm. happy and sad. =X 強辯's album will be released in singapore!! omg. what a surprise =) and i heard 1234 in the car today! sounds so different from the mp3 i have. but never mind i like XD and according to this, i think i'll L-O-V-E the album XD\|\|\| and if i'm not wrong it only has 2 tai yu songs. hmmm. all those 台客-like songs not inside. LOL. but i wonder why they're using 1234. not 找尋你呼喚你 or 彩虹的另一端. i personally like 甜蜜的願望 alot but it's a tai yu song so cannot broadcast =( nevermind. i just hope they can come to singapore!!! XDDDDDD then if everyone only goes after the cow and monkey, i will pluck the flower!!! XD\|\|\| ok now for sad part =( today no work no school. so in the morning i cleared quite a few things quite happy with myself decided to go down and meet him. at least can give him a surprise. then it started to POUR =( and the worst is today he had a looong break =(((( why didn't i work today!!!! bah. but nvm. my irrational self told me i must go down cuz i missed him too much (think i'm a goner la i_i) so i bluffed my dad i wanted to go cut hair and buy some stuffs. i only wanted a lift to the mrt station but he asked me to take the car > < it's not a good thing because that means i cant stay in town as long as i want. so i drove down and met him.. he didn't seem surprised/happy or what and only walked talked with me for a while and asked me to go back. then on the way home i was so sian i just drove at 50kph at the slow lane. dunno what i was thinking about also. =( 有時我在想我這麼做值得嗎.為他付出那麼多,他知道嗎?他會開心嗎?那我會比較開心嗎? ninchan got smitten over mayday at 06:53 p.m. [ ]

wednesday \| 16 08 2006
原來生一個人的氣也可以是這麼痛苦的.第一次因為他而哭,還哭得好慘.或許是太久沒有哭了,所以一開始就停不下來.我又開始亂想東西了.我在他心中到底佔有什麼樣的位置?他是否只有在一個人孤單寂寞時才會想起我? 我發覺我太投入這段感情,已經陷得太深,無法自拔了.開始生他的氣時,分手的念頭逗留在我腦海里好一陣子,但如果我真的說出口,傷心的、後悔的應該只有我一個吧. 或許當我打算不再繼續打工的時候,答案自然會出現. ninchan got smitten over mayday at 12:56 a.m. [ ]

sunday \| 11 06 2006
lol just a quick update about my recent life since it's so long since the last entry XD although the main reason why i'm blogging now is 'cause i just read the newspaper article on yanming that was published on zaobao on wed (that's how busy i am XD\|\|\|) when i read the article i realised how 'off' i've been on mayday news =X and the feeling of wanting to be crazy over them has come back once again! esp when i see how SWEET yanming and his fiancee are! just like in KL when i saw him run to put his hands around her.. >_< and on wed when ahpeh, rj, leong and i went KTV, AI QING LU is out!!! i went crazy the moment i knew the mtv was out! i couldn't even be bothered to sing, just glued my eyes to the tv screen XD and that really made me feel like going to the taiwan concert! ARGH. i miss mayday and that cow =X i mean, how long has it been since they came! bah =( as for work, i like my p/t job. =) i'm emphasising p/t 'cause if you'd want me to work for life in that job, i think i'd flip. yesterday i was just talking to another p/t waitress who's waiting to go uni, she was saying that she liked the work there, so she doesn't know why the other f/t waitresses don't like it as much, and our reasoning is that if you were stuck with such a job until you're able to find another better (hopefully) job, it's really quite sian. and the pay is not that good. XD\|\|\| world cup is here! let me do some advertising. sun with moon japanese dining cafe at wheelock place 3rd storey is open till 2am daily during the world cup period! last orders at 130am, we serve finger food and drinks! =) and if you're lucky, i'll be your waitress for the night! LOL. and we also broadcast all the matches that are shown on SCV starting from 9pm, as well ast the repeat telecasts. but it's so distracting. yesterday at 9pm was the eng vs par match, and i so wanted to just watch the match. esp when the section i was stationed at was where the projector screen was. =.= and all the customers at that section were looking at the match lah. hopefully that will make more people know that we're showing the matches. after all on the opening day, only a table of 8 was present. bAh. alright. tummy ache and then it's off to work. =) ninchan got smitten over mayday at 10:15 a.m. [ ]

thursday \| 20 04 2006
woah! it's been so long since i last blogged! as those who'd be reading this now would know, i don't come online much these few days.. well, i still do come online to check my email and stuffs, but i just don't go on ptt msn etc so my presence isn't really felt. XD but if you want to talk to me, you can always get google chat! like how nat and my sis talk to me when i don't go on msn XD anyway after the exams, i think i'm gonna get a new layout. =) either bleach or chibi gallery! it's a new thing my sis and i came across and it's freakin' cute! spent alot buying their figurines though =X but i'm earning money from selling mayday's stuffs so whatever. LOL. well since i don't go on ptt and mdmd.net, i've really been very off about mayday stuffs. it's good in some sense; i don't get so crazy over them now. and anyway, it has been some time since all of them appeared on tv (maybe they do appear more now that they're in CHINA promoting stuffs but i don't think i'd like to watch those so it's alright XD). so since i don't get to see all of them (ashin's one of my least favourite; i don't get to see ming stone cow so WHATEVER >_<) the craziness has really worn off. good or bad, i don't know yet. let's wait till the next time they come to singapore and we shall all find out. but if cow's not coming, i guess i really won't be that crazy. XD cow's still what's sustaining my interest! i just look at our photo and smile like an idiot to myself. blushes muahahaha. but hey! i've just started on "after school, monster's house!" as my bedtime reading material (i know i'm like super slow; i haven't even started on su ren zi pai officially XD) and MING IS SUPER CUTE! the articles contributed by him are just so funny! XD he's like a little boy inside! maybe i just like guys who're like that, just like how i really adore daniel when the way he talks resembles a little boy XD and just reading those stuffs make me smile and start to like mayday all over again. or maybe just ming. XD exams are just round the corner! 26 27 2 and 4. then 5/5 is KTV day. and work starts on 6/5. =X i've not really started on studying and that sucks. my CA for this sem is horrendous and i really have to do super well for all my exams (maybe jap is more safe) to get Bs, let alone As. =( it's scary, but somehow i can only study at night. so it's bad because i don't exactly like the idea of sleeping late as it'll upset my sleep cycle and i'll die when there're morning papers. >_< but it's only 4 days. so i'll hang on. =) and anyway 2 papers are MCQ and i'm more or less steady for jap so i just have to push myself a little harder these days. =) trying to be optimistic! and on 5/5 i can go ktv with s60 girls! beams it's been quite some time since i ktv-ed. =( mayday zayin so what nicholas teo omg i can't wait! yeah! but after that it's not gonna be v relaxing. i just got a waitress job starting 6/5. had wanted to try for a part-time kino bookkeeper (that's the only word in the dictionary with 3 double letters in a row =) job that only work weekends so tt i can continue even when school starts but my sis told me some jap restaurant in wheelock seem to need people so i went down immediately. and they too gave me the job immediately. lol. doesn't pay bad too, 6/hr on weekdays and 6.5 on weekends. and it's jap! so i can get practice. =) and i may be able to cont on weekends when school start. but during holidays i still have to insert time for RAG (which i totally forgot about when i was looking for a holiday job =X) so i think i'm so going to die. or let jingyi down. >_< oh btw i won a nicholas teo zhang dong liang autographed CD! yeah! i don't know if it's because of Astrid or what (a taiwan mayday fan who started liking nicholas some time ago after seeing him) but i've started to take a liking to him too. hee. he's really quite cute, esp when he smiles, and he strikes me as a sincere person.. i even wanted to go to his autograph session! but held myself back because of impending deadlines (which unfortunately, i didn't spend the time i saved doing = =). then he appeared on a tv show which was giving awway 10 autographed CDs and i emailed immediately. and it's funny - the deadline was stated as 5pm 19/4 but i got the email saying i have won at 10am that day. heh. bluff pple one. lol. but whatever i've won! yeah! although rj say maybe it's 'cause no one entered to contest. haha. =) happy is i! so many people going HK for mayday concert arh.. well.. let's think about the merits of NOT going instead of what we're missing out: 1) won't have to squeeze with (ashin-crazy) PRCs! 2) save money! 3) less distraction! (ok this is very qian qiang XD) nvm. at least peirong says she'll get me souvenirs and help me buy ming xing shang pin. lol. time to hit the books arh!!! i only have motivation for psych and jap. howhowhow. i so don't want to study for JS GEK and soci. =( sucks! enough ranting. sobs ninchan got smitten over mayday at 10:35 a.m. [ ]

friday \| 10 03 2006
sigh. the feeling that i'm a failure is starting to sink into me again. because of sleeping at 3am for 3 days in a row. i didn't think much of it when it was to read Harry Potter (more abt this later), but because it was a gruelling time trying to squeeze things out of my pea-brain for last minute assignments, it felt super horrible. i hate myself. all over again. it's always times like this that i feel like that. when i know that i could have control over something, but slowly let it slip past me. i had all the time i needed over the weekened, but i wasted it. boo. i have this feeling this is going to be a long post. been some time since i had the urge to blog anyway. nothing interesting though. =) anyway things are slightly better for the moment, after the worse individual assignment is done. for which i simply waffled my way through. an essay that was supposed to be 5 pages long ended up having only 2 pages, more than half of which was pure fluff. whatever. i wouldn't care if i get 0 for it - i had contemplated just not handing it up anyway. so even 1 is better than nothing. =) i'm supposed to be on my way home now. but i'm downloading something and NUS' server is super fast. things that can take me up to one day to download at home takes only one hour in school. the speed is like 100kbps. usually it goes up to 200kbps if the site i'm downloading from is spare. and i'm like super happy when i see that my home computer is downloading at a rare 20kbps =.= and i found a bag in which i can bring the big laptop, thus it's going to be much more convenient for me next time should i need to use the computer =) it may be heavy and mafan because the battery is spoilt and i have to find a space with a powerpoint in order to use it, but it's still useful and i can save the money i had wanted to use to buy a laptop which i can bring to school. and to add on the above point, i've been feeling super poor these few days even though my spendings are not high at all. i just feel the urge to want to save. or rather, there really is nothing i want to buy at this point of time. which is really funny. because usually when i'm feeling down, my first instinct is to binge and buy anything that catches my sight, both of which requires me to spend alot. and when val told me that maybe can find a job during the hols to earn money, i just felt like there's no motivation to do so. since i don't even know what i'm going to do with that money, i rather just stay at home everyday and sleep and eat whatever there is at home and perhaps find the time to catch up on all the mayday shows i've been downloading and chucking in my folder without even finding out what exactly it is. but that is if the craze hasn't subsided. which brings me to the next point. i didn't go on p1 or p2 for almost a week. and i didn't feel the urge to either. and when i had wanted to download some things but realise that the links are dead, i felt totally alright, like it didn't matter at all. at this rate, i really wonder how long more it'll take for me to be immune to them. especially if yellowcow doesn't come along with them for their next trip to singapore. XD but maybe it's also because most of the news are on ashin and only him. no yanming T_T or maybe because i've found a new love - Harry Potter! XD and now we come to HP. heh. my sister had the first 3 books and wanted to give them to my cousin because she was clearing her books. so i thought i should just read them first to prevent them from going to waste. i didn't read them previously because i thought it was quite stupid since i had already watched the movie. but boy was i wrong. the first book was very much like the movie, which i remembered quite well too, so i wasn't quite addicted to it. it was the second movie that i couldn't really remember, so i was totally hooked onto it and started sleeping at 2! then the 3rd book was also quite different from the movie so it made me stick to it too. and after that my late nights all consisted of HP. for almost 2weeks already i think. i'm on the 5th book now, which is very gruelling for me, because i have to curb the urge to read it when i'm doing my homework. and whenever i finish my last minute homework at 2am, i reward myself with one chapter of HP but it usually doesn't stop there because i'm so addicted, thus i end up sleeping at 3. miraculously, i'm able to wake up at 8am, though i feel mentally exhausted the whole day through. but i so badly want to know everything that has happened thus far! and my sister says i'll feel a great sense of loss after i finish reading half blood prince. which i expect of myself too. just like how an overdose of mayday gives you those eerie withdrawal symptoms. XD turns out that the end of this entry is quite light-hearted. and i'm feeling better too after ranting about HP! hee. but i had missed out something i wanted to rant when i first started out this post: i wished that i could have selective memory. =( as in, i dread to be reminded of those embarrasing moments when i totally wished that i had vanished from this earth that very moment. never mind i don't think i know how to explain it well; i'm just too self-conscious. or perhaps even ego-centric. which just goes to show how immature i am. bAh. ninchan got smitten over mayday at 05:24 p.m. [ ]

sunday \| 26 02 2006
FREAK. lee teng lost. T_T he got 3rd for popularity! it's very high considering he usually ranks quite low. =( i was still so damn happy when he did super well and got super high score. but i started to worry when the stupid cuifang from 4th become 2nd place. because her popularity very high. =( and even though lee teng got 4.8 higher than her, it was still not enough. who knows how much (thousands? millions?) more phone calls she got. BOO. lee teng should have just paid someone 10 thousand to call for him lor. anyway he can get 50 thousand AND a car in return. i think he will still get signed on though. BUT i believe he needs the money and car more than the winner. =( lee teng~~~~~~~~~~~~ feels worse than when weixiong lost. boo.... ninchan got smitten over mayday at 11:01 p.m. [ ]

monday \| 20 02 2006
omg this is freaking funny! was laughing like hell AT THE END! it's alright if you don't know Japanese! just watch it and LAUGH. please watch all the way till the end! XD this mid-term break is like shit. it's only 4 days to begin with, out of which i'll have to go to school on 3 days. and the only real holiday i have is more than half gone. i don't quite get the difference since i'll also have one free day during normal school days =.= ah peh, i can go queensway on friday but then i'm only free after 2pm.. booboo =( i wanna get nike dunks though. and ripples flip flops. =) ninchan got smitten over mayday at 05:43 p.m. [ ]

tuesday \| 14 02 2006 \| VALENTINE'S DAY! XD
yay! i got a bouquet of flowers today! or should i say, toNIGHT! XDDDD I LOVE YOU DEAR! -muacks- but i prefer sunflowers.. =( didn't know my taste was so cheap. lol. so my valentine's day wasn't wasted by slacking at home and sleeping my day away. XD oh my sis bought something from quebec.. it's a heart shaped chocolate 'box' with turtle chocolates inside.. LOL. should be yummy too but i cant eat them now cuz my throat is giving me problems. =( and there're so many things to do, i haven't started on any! sometimes i really hate tuesday although it's my free day because i end up waking up late, not doing anything, and sleeping my whole day away. boo. ^_^ ninchan got smitten over mayday at 10:37 p.m. [ ]

friday \| 10 02 2006
today quite alot of things happened. and will be happening. XD in the morning the stupid traffic light outside my estate don't know why after super long never turn red yet, so i cannot cross the road. but i was ok with it since the bus not there. then i saw my bus approaching and was like "TMD!!!" so when the lights turned red i imm ran across.. the green arrow was out but there was no cars turning right so it was ok. then this stupid car on the far left of the road honk me! wtf! it's red light leh! then i later saw that he chuang hong deng lor.. = = ok then this happened on my way home on the mrt. i have to change trains at JE station, and i'll always try to be the typical kiasu singaporean and stand near the door so that i'll get a seat. JE to khatib is quite far you know. somemore nearing peak period so alot of pple le. then the train that came was the new kind of trains, those that have less seats because they 'chop' off the seats near the door for people to stand. so i was like "shit this time really must chiong!" so two boys in front of me went in first, then as i was walking in, this fat lady stepped on my slipper and i was like "ARGH!" but of course never shout out lah. then usually i'll diao the pple who step on me but this time i chionging for seat so cant be bothered, then heng i managed to kope the LAST SEAT! XD then the fat lady came and said sorry to me, and i was like nvm.. (i got my seat anw XD) then after i sat down, i realised that lady kept looking at me.. i was like "wth what's wrong with me lah". then after that i realised something. she was not fat. she was pregnant. = = so i think she was expecting me to give up my seat to her. then in my mind i was thinking "if you didn't step on my slipper, we both would have managed to get a seat!" so i went to fake asleep XD\|\|\| ok i admit i felt guilty lah. boo. but i made up for it! because when another pregnant lady came up, i gave up my seat to her! but i came up with the following thoughts: if you're pregnant and expect pple to give up their seats to you, please DRESS AS THOUGH YOU'RE PREGNANT. sometimes i really don't know if people are fat or pregnant. serious. then sekarli they are fat, then you think they are pregnant so let them sit, they will feel offended one mah! then i had another evil thought: if you are pregnant, then go take cab suan le. no money to take cab? then how are you so sure you have enough money for your child? muahahaha. ok my dad let me drive the car to airport to send shunwei off. and he took mrt. T_T i only asked to use the car because i thought he wouldn't be using it. but my mum wants to follow me to the airport! >_< i don't like to drive when either of my parents are in the car.. it's like ANYTHING you do they also got something to say. =( i mean, even my dad makes mistakes mah.. not as though our mistakes will really cost our lives.. =( when my sis is inside at least she doesn't say so much, i think because she also cannot tahan someone making noise when she's driving XD and i hate traffic lights. sometimes i rather kena red light than green light. at least red light i know confirm have to stop, green light so uncertain. when i was driving home frm the mrt, i approached this traffic light that was green with the green arrows. meaning going to turn red soon. then got red light camera somemore. so i slow down. then slow down alot. but STILL GREEN. so i decided to zam accelerator. the moment i zam, it turned yellow. >_< then i imm zam brake cuz i super kiasee. WAH LAU! stupid traffic light lah! lucky i was alone in the car. or else confirm kena nag until~ after tackling jap proj proposal singlehandedly on behalf of a group of 4 ytd night (luckily one of them replied the email this morning in time for me to change the mistakes), next is JS proj. T_T i don't like projects. =( i don't mind individual ones though. heh. whatever lah. uni. only my first yr wor. >_< oh and i think i don't want double major le. XD it was a dream after all.. ninchan got smitten over mayday at 06:39 p.m. [ ]

tuesday \| 07 02 2006
WEIXIONG IS BACK IN THE GAME!!!! WOOHOO!!! XDDDDD was so nervous when they were about to announce who the winner was though i was 90% certain it was going to be him.. =) yeahyay! but there can only be one ultimate winner in the end, i hope it's either weixong, liteng or yunying.. others are OK but IT BETTER NOT BE THAT PRC!!!!! >_< alright back to the books~ ninchan got smitten over mayday at 09:02 p.m. [ ]

wednesday \| 01 02 2006
ARGHARGHARGH. i cant believe i cried but yeah i did. because weixiong lost in superhost! >_< and it's not really the fact that he lost lah. it's because he lost to that china girl who is so irritating, and because of the last scene shown on tv.. T_T so weixong lost, and weixiong and li teng should be like very good friends.. [must have been hard on li teng too letting weixiong take his place =(] then at the end of the show everyone went up to weixiong to blahblahblah, only li teng was standing a distance away, then after everyone shook weixiong's hand, li teng just put his hand out, then weixiong went to shake it, and went over to give a hug.. and i cried at that moment! T_T GOSH. what the hell am i made up of. maybe because i like li teng. ^^;;; but i was thinking after that.. what if li teng was the one up there.. would he have made it and kicked that PRC out? >_< but anyway they have a revival round, so i hope weixiong can make it! >_< and i recorded it for those interested. XD CNY is no good for catching up on work despite being the longest 'weekend' of the year. BOO. ninchan got smitten over mayday at 12:07 a.m. [ ]

monday \| 30 01 2006
somehow.. the mayday craze has really died down. =) and that's a smiley to celebrate it! lol.. ptt craze died down, won't feel frustrated even if i don't get to download their videos (not like i watch them anyway \|\|\|), and the urge to sell their stuffs for money is really getting stronger (just that somehow i just end up giving them away to mayday fans friends \|\|\|).. but well, everytime i see the photo of me and coba on the cover of my organiser, i just smile to myself like an idiot.. =.= much less needs to be said when i think about cow XD\|\|\|\|\| anyway now i'm really hoping they don't come in the near future and don't have any new things for fans to buy and give me enough time to GIVE UP ON THEM. XD anyway now that i've earned some 'income' from CNY, i hope i'll be able to save lotsa money.. things seem to be looking good since i don't spend alot in school 'cause i have fully packed days and can only munch on snacks in between, $1 being my budget.. XD and i don't really go out much, and even if i do, i don't spend much.. unless of course i'm going out with friends then alot would be spent on food. =X but well my aim is saving up to buy a CAR.. so.. LOL. let's just wait on la. even if i don't spend a cent and save all my pocket money, it's still impossible to buy a car in the near future.. the cheapest and most acceptable one i've seen so far is a kia picanto DISPLAY car.. ie alot of pple touch le, door open and most probable SLAMMED close thousand times.. =.= and the ad puts from $29,999. chances are that means it's a manual (i dun mind and think it's quite cool but not pos if i want to share w my sis), non-leather seats (horrible 'cause they are more pest-friendly since they catch dust), COE 6 bidding (well the COE has been falling alot so maybe can get it in one bid).. but if it's an off-peak car, MAYBE got chance la. (imagine reaching school before 7am and leaving school after 7pm everyday @@") my bank now got $3000 (tmd lah look what mayday has done to me; i really ought to sell their stuffs to recoup losses!) one year i can only save MAX $2000 if i really save up like shit.. WHATEVER. i'm just dreaming. i even dream of striking toto. lol. but hey, isn't that everyone's dream.. or is it just me and my parents. =.= but anyway i guess i really do understand that gambling never works, just that desperate people need desperate measures BOO. ok so CNY was alright. went to JB for dinner with paternal relatives on CNY eve night. then nothing much lah, not close to them too.. =X and CNY went to maternal's side.. i think my cousin's quite handsome leh! >_< i just sat down beside him and he talked to me then i abit shy shy like that but must try to hide! lol. and christopher lee was on TV at that time, i was looking at the TV and then my cousin and felt that he looked a tit bit like chris lee. LOL. and i wanted to ask if he had a gf. (and if he asked me why, i'll just say "i heard tt if u dun get a gf in uni, it's harder to get one when you're working" since this is his last sem. XD) i wanted to get his hp but didn't dare. BOO. ok never mind i'm just crazy. maybe just feeling funny. me my sis and 2 cousins (the shuai cousin included XD\|\|\|) from my mum's elder sis used to be quite close, most probably due to the closeness of our ages.. then somehow we just stopped going to our grandma's house every week, stopped eating dinner there even if we went.. and just stopped talking. so its like even if we happen to be visiting our grandma at the same time, we don't talk. feels awkward. and i feel that their mum is really a nice person. because i think their family doesn't really earn much, but his mum always gives $20 in an angpow.. even the other families who earn more give only $10? =.= ok not like i care alot about the amount inside, but sometime i just feel touched..? to me, the amount of money in an angpow should be according to 1) how much u earn and 2) how close you are to the other family (and thus their child). so when i get $20 from them and $10 from another richer family (the kaya factory owner only gives 10. POOP) i just feel quite >_< as though i ought not be receiving angpows from them to begin with. OK i'm just ranting random thoughts. =X or maybe they give $20 'cause my mum gives $20. lol. shit i had wanted to have early days this long holiday. but poop parents = shit days. and homework undone! GOSH. my agenda is still UNTICKED. let's see. psych notes. JS notes. soci readings. jap test. chem tut. econs assignment. chem lab report. ARGH. workload is slowly crashing down on me!!! but i dun mind such life anyway. lol. =) ninchan got smitten over mayday at 02:14 a.m. [ ]

tuesday \| 17 01 2006
oh man i'm full of disgust with xiao yuan superstar.. = = the contestants' standard are so low! i believe there're like MUCH MORE school kids out there who can sing much better.. i mean, they zao xia like hell, off tune so much.. cannot sing so well just choose a simple song lah.. rather ace a simple song than fail to impress with a hard song right.. i know i'm not a singer or someone professional but i believe that everyone can air their views right.. and i'm just stating FACTS. XP and no 人生攻擊 involved. =) and not only the contestants arh.. the hosts also.. dasmond koh of course nothing to say, i believe he was actually put in to 'help' the other two.. junyang okok lah, still quite steady considering he's rather new.. as for the sugi arh.. really dunno why they chose him.. firstly, he was ousted in the first round of jue dui superstar, that means that his popularity is like definitely much lower than others. and then, i've been to the recording of superfunkies before, and he's the person who NGs the most! just some simple sentences and he can retake like up to 5 times?? if i'm not wrong, his chinese standard is already not very good to begin with, coupled with his lousy memory in remembering his lines, it just becomes disastrous. and what's with SHOUTING when you already have mike. gosh. ok yes i'm just utterly disgusted. XD ninchan got smitten over mayday at 04:31 p.m. [ ]

monday \| 16 01 2006
first time in a super long while that i'm having two blog entries in a day.. but anyway.. just heard something on tv and just felt really very happy.. the channel 8 9pm show 愛的掌門人 has really been using mayday's song for along of their previews.. everytime i hear i'll be so happy.. first it was 戀愛ing when the show hasn't started, then after that they used 溫柔(還你自由版) and today i heard 人生海海.. gosh.. i forgot if in btw they used other songs.. but just feel real happy.. and i think 愛的掌門人 always uses nice songs, like 王老五, 莫斯科沒有眼淚, some alex to song i forgot the name etc.. =) 可能有時候,快樂就是可以那麼單純..但是這種快樂的壽命往往是最短的.. ninchan got smitten over mayday at 08:48 p.m. [ ]

monday \| 16 01 2006
too lazy to blog about FHM, 'cause i more or less said what i had to say on rj's board.. haha =) anyway.. more about how i feel.. =X 昨天和小螞蟻講完話后,還以為我應該已經沒事了..可是今天忽然間想到的時候,又開始熱淚盈眶.. >_< 可能真的是奢望越大,失望越大吧..好討厭這種感覺..而且感覺上很多東西原本都有機會做到的..只是因為外圍因素而做不到,感覺更是遭透了.心裡還一直為自己感到不值.. 如果我擁有全世界的時間,再給我多一些錢.. XD\|\|\| 然後回來了又沒力氣或心情做任何東西,還好昨晚有做到應該做的功課,然後也沒太遲睡,所以今天精神還不會太差.. anyway i really have to thank ahpeh for talking to me last night.. =) although i really have no confidence of doing what i know i have to do to forget it all, but i am still very thankful to you for 開導-ing me.. XD i just hope that it won't take too long for me to be able to carry on my life as usual.. sigh. ninchan got smitten over mayday at 07:26 p.m. [ ]

tuesday \| 03 01 2006
haha at the request of ahpeh i shall blog.. XD just feel lazy to blog.. or maybe there's nothing really pertinent for me to blog about. anyway.. yanming's engaged! >///< really hope he can be veryveryvery 幸福.. he looks so happy in the photos! really felt like crying when i first saw the photos.. because he looks sososo 幸福.. i cant really think of another adjective lah.. haha. and wang xingzhi looks so different.. haha. she looks much prettier in those photos than in person.. maybe because she was actually SMILING in the photos, and not like STARING.. \|\|\| anyway.. 雖然你不會看到,但我還是祝你幸福!要他媽的給我永遠幸福下去! >0< school's starting in a weeks time.. bidding has been alright so far, just that i don't think i'll be able to get one essential psych module so i've substituted it with a soci module.. i guess i'm more or less bent on doing a double major since i'm taking quite a few soci modules i would otherwise not care about.. so CAP4.0 here i come! >_< that means i'd have to score a CAP of at least 4.4 this sem to even things out. dry laughter and i hope i'll be able to get jap5! as well as a 6th module.. =) too bad i won't be able to take advanced translation cuz the exam clashes with PL1101E and i'll have to wait 2 more sems since it's only offered in sem2 =X [add-on] i just realised i paid 500pts for PL1101E! XOXOXOXO tmd. but then again, if i hadn't revise my bid from 400 to 550, i wouldn't be able to get it.. (but i would have been able to bid for CL3281!) nvm whatever =.= feel like going back to HC one day for their orientation.. or at least for campfire. but well that'd have to depend on my classmates la. wouldn't want to go back alone. anyway when i was talking to ahpeh a few days back, i realised that my JC life was really wasted.. as in friendships.. i wasn't able to forge any strong friendships with anyone.. and i really have to thank mayday or i wouldn't even be close to ahpeh and rj, hence i'd really not have any close friends from JC. =X maybe it was a choice for me at that point of time, to isolate myself from everyone.. shrugs anyway it's over now, will just try not to be anti-social now if i have the choice. i guess at the end of the day, everyone needs friends. yeah? shrugs msia FH next sat. =) looking forward to it again. because i saw some photos of huang niu. XD\|\|\| that's always what re-sparks my interest. which really makes me wonder if i'm chasing mayday or the guy who works for them. lol. but well i hope it'll be a good concert. rock zone! and if final FH coincides with sch hols, i'll definitely go too! XD ninchan got smitten over mayday at 12:19 a.m. [ ]

friday \| 23 12 2005
ok ignore the previous entry if you wish. = = my relative did that. XD now for some ku xiao bu de stuffs. my results. WAH SO UNEXPECTED! >_< actually i forgot that i could check my results until i saw the clock then i thought "oh! my results!" XD the first and second modules were ok, though i had hoped for an A for CL2280 too. =X the I'M SO FREAKING SHOCKED BY SC1101E!!! as well as LAJ3203 = = i totally didn't study for soci! and i got B+! wow. i think my mid-term test really saved me. =) and i thought my biz jap was quite steady. what's with a B-. must be too little people taking the module so i'm left to dian di. BAH. (but honestly i didn't study for it either so i don't really have the right to complain \|\|\|) and I PASSED SS! muahahahaha. and with a C+, not a C. wah. and my CAP is not that bad it seems. =) far from my 4.5 aim but whatever, everyone knows my aims are just for show. lol. and i still can do honours with that CAP. but hell it's the first sem the road is still long~~~ my sister didn't drive the car out today. wondering if i should take a go at it. XD and thanks to nat and ah peh for caring. =) ninchan got smitten over mayday at 01:19 p.m. [ ]

wednesday \| 21 12 2005
i wonder who still reads this now, but well, just wanna inform everyone out there that from now on, the propensity of me replying sms-es will be super low. 'cause i've decided to not give a care about anything, and that includes everyone out there. for a dying person, i guess nothing really matters. maybe the only thing in my way now is the stupid concert on 14th Jan. sigh. ninchan got smitten over mayday at 08:24 a.m. [ ]

thursday \| 15 12 2005
yohoo! i have a new blog.. XD but this blog still remains, 'cause the other blog is of a totally different characteristic.. =) here it is! =) i call it a song blog cuz there, i use songs to illustrate my feelings.. so no traces of mayday, except if i decide to use their songs, which should occur quite often. XD\|\|\| anyway zayin's cd is coming out soon.. i hope i can get it tmr! and i wonder what stuffs they'll give out this time.. lol. kan bu qing is nice too! =) but i still prefer yu zhou.. haha. hope the whole album will be as good as the previous one, if not better.. though apparently this time there'll be more shu qing songs because in the last album, pple took more notice of blue eyes.. =X i just hope that there'll be songs that go the same way as unfinished melody! >_< i really wonder what i should do these days. will all university holidays be like that? i mean, no homework, no nothing? that relaxed? XD\|\|\| ninchan got smitten over mayday at 01:52 p.m. [ ]

tuesday \| 13 12 2005
as i read my past diary entries since i first started liking mayday, i realised everything has changed.. and it doesn't seem to be a good sign.. i still remembered that when rj and i knew tt some fans went to airport at 1+am to song ji when md came for the PS thing, we still thought they were siao.. but well.. aren't we like tt now? XD\|\|\| and the first time we went to jie ji, i gave something to guanyou and i was like "ARH!!!" so excited, esp since can like get to see them so up close.. haha. and then it all started to snowball.. like how we were so sad (ok, at least i was super sad) when we didn't manage to song ji for that time.. it's like.. we just began/begun (honestly i don't know the difference XD\|\|) to expect so much more.. everytime they come, jieji and songji seems to be an inevitable part, as though it's part of the activities they'll be having here.. haha. and the first time i saw huang niu coming out.. OMG. i went berserk lah. when i think back now, i really admire myself for finding the courage to do that! XD (and to think so many pple still don't know it was me XD\|\|\|) jieji and songji just for the sake of wanting to see them up close once more is alright.. but.. if it's because of hoping to be able to get their autographs, wanting to take photos with them, it's not that good anymore, is it? we just start expecting more.. that's why there'll always be some sense of disappointment.. i just start to wonder.. who are they to me now.. i don't think it's merely idols anymore.. it's wanting more out of them.. and when u see other fans talk to them, have close contact with them, you'll get envious and maybe even jealous.. and that's not a good reaction is it.. and you wish that you're one of them.. another mayday fan once told me something abt one of the members of mayday, and i think i admire him alot cuz of that.. she said that the reason why he acts the way he does is because he doesn't want to become someone even he himself would dislike just because he's a public figure, or just so that he can please his fans. maybe i don't want that to happen too.. i don't want to become someone i myself would dislike just because i'm going crazy over these 5 pple.. (honestly la everyone reading this blog would know that it has very little to do with those 5 idiots below XD) and i'm starting to hate myself because i went overboard on sunday.. =( and not only songji jieji, i even went to expo to wait for them; went to their supper place to catch a glimpse of them.. (ok maybe it's just HIM not them >_<) maybe if HE didn't come it wouldn't be that bad? 真的不想成為連自己都會討厭的人.. 可是好像已經太遲了.. 時間無法回轉; 做過的事也已經無法挽回.. 而期待的事是不可能那麼容易就放棄的.. 難道做這一切是因為要彌補永遠都到不了的從前? 畢竟自己是遲來的, 無論怎麼樣也都趕不上的吧.. seemed to have all these thoughts after talking to her.. really got to know quite alot of insights from her.. haha. and she's real nice to talk to! never really thought she'd be like that.. haha. anyway all these are really super random thoughts pieced together so if you can't catch the flow.. then nvm. XD blogging really helps! yeah! Y^^Y <-- huang niu style XDDDD ninchan got smitten over mayday at 06:01 p.m. [ ]

sunday \| 11 12 2005
and so it's over. Final Home Singapore Dec 10 2005. =) was a really great concert. won't type much here, all my memories will stay in my mind and diary =) but now i'm just so close to tears. or rather, my tears are almost dried up. i just hate myself. maybe if i didn't go today, i would be happier. maybe not. but i'll never know. and for now, all i want is for this memory to be erased. but it can never happen. i'm so stupid. hopeless. whatever. maybe i deserve it. i guess i do. mayday (general term, actually NOTHING to do with them) has seriously messed up my life. i didn't even know today was a sunday. and i've slept for an average of only 4 hours for the past 3 days. when it's the holidays. i thought it'd be worthed it, but now, maybe not, cuz it won't make a difference had i not put in so much effort. i really wonder what i'm doing to my life. just destroying it. i really wish i was dead. poof. just vanish from the face of the earth. ninchan got smitten over mayday at 11:28 p.m. [ ]

saturday \| 03 12 2005
omg my dad just gave me my pocket money for nov and dec.. seems like he'll just be giving me pocket money bi-monthly cuz it's a whole sum. and he said the money used to buy SGFH tix for me and my frens will be my pocket money for sept and oct. so ok lah, i'm not so poor now. LOL. 今天不知道為什麼感覺空空的.不是頭腦空空的空.可能是沒事做,感覺很空虛.想找本書來讀,但似乎沒什麼書能夠引起我的興趣.下個星期就是final home了,但不知道為什麼好像沒那麼興奮.如果是親戚要來的話我就放心了. made an appointment with ENT of TTSH, but don't know if i should go. what if there really is nothing wrong with my ear, then wouldn't i be wasting the time of the doctor? and like my sister said (in compliance with MOH policies), depriving a real patient of the chance to seek earlier treatment. argh. =X well if i don't forget about the appointment on that day then i shall go XD i'm feeling so lost! >_< i hate this feeling. wanting to do something with your time but not knowing what. gosh. =( i'm such a failure in running my life. =( boobooboo. mayday should be arriving on 8th? wonder if the technicians are coming earlier or together! >_< doesn't matter i guess. ^^; and zayin's new album will be released soon! if it's done by avex like last time, i think it should be available in singapore? =) yu zhou (universe) is damn nice. just listening to the 1+min version is enough to make me tear! oh btw this week's u-weekly has mayday on the cover. =) and it's quite a well-thought interview, very good work done by the reporter. =) maybe i should just make another layout lah. lol. and sister! snuffcup's down. =X are you scrapping the account? more crosses will be appearing in my archives. >_< ninchan got smitten over mayday at 07:37 p.m. [ ]

saturday \| 26 11 2005
w00t! three more days before the end of exams! guess i disappointed myself yet again by leaving everything till the last minute.. i have this very bad feeling that i'm gonna fail my SS. like, D? i got a C for the project (30%) and the exam was a flop.. so if i get a C overall i'm gonna be how happy lah. =( and sociology.. sigh. a B would be good enough but i think i'm gonna get a C. >_< as for EL, looking at the answer key, i really hope i can get at least a B+.. >_< and a B+ too would be good for translation. and jap! >_< maybe if i dedicate my WHOLE sunday and monday to it, i'd be able to chiong out an A-???!?! >_< argh. first sem like tt le. ARGH. and it NEVER works for me by saying things like "work harder next sem" 'cause it's been like tt since sec 2! >_< there's never been once in my life where i've really studied. i really wonder when i'll WAKE UP. i guess life has really been far too kind to me. i mean, who can ever manage to get to uni without having a taste of STUDYING. gosh. what's up with me man, why am i not cherishing what i have but letting it go to waste. >_< anyway exams aside, my dad bought me a jap dictionary today! =) i think i like it. LOL. but wow it's really quite ex, $80+ wonder when i'll start using it. =) i like jap! again. LOL. still remember how i started detesting it in J1 and totally gave up on it. and the passion's back now! woohoo! XD that's good. =) the first para and the second para is like how contradicting. one full of >_< the other =). muahahaha. i'm starting to become schizophrenic man i say. exams are really detrimental to one's physical and mental health. =X ninchan got smitten over mayday at 10:51 p.m. [ ]

monday \| 21 11 2005
here's a new layout with a fresher look! XD wanted to put it up on 22nd nov as a first anniv thingy (read layout info XP) but won't be able to use the comp later so i'm putting it up 40 minutes earlier! XD\|\|\| anyway exams so far have been fine.. =) today's basic translation was quite easy i suppose. sociology was a killer but that's only cuz i didn't study so whatever. XD 3 more to go but i guess after this week i'll just self-declare myself a holiday! oh and my friends and sister have started asking me what i want for my birthday. LOL. but i really don't know what i want. or rather, the things i want are too expensive or she1 chi3 that it's not good to ask for them as presents, better to save up and get them myself. i want a Swatch skin! >_< and a damn good Japanese dictionary. countdown: 8 more days to end of exams, 18 more days to birthday, and 19 more days to SG Final Home! woohoo! XD ninchan got smitten over mayday at 11:19 p.m. [ ]