Tuesday, November 27, 2001 laziness

figured out i had too many entries and it was time to archive but too lazt to do that, so i avoided that but not adding entries. ^^;; but i have yet to archive anyway... i just can't stop thinking of someone. and the thing is, i've been thinking too much. when i get to talk to him, i feel happy, then when we put down the phone, i get all sad again. what's the big problem with me? sheesh. not much to say... working on my new layout. :) black. yep~ thought of it last night in bed. ^^;; sore ja nin-chan looked up at the sky at 10:48 p.m.

Friday, November 23, 2001 for kor

finally can access your site. yes, i think spaceport sucks too. *^5* the hols aren't half-over yet. since you know time's ticking away quickly, then you must buck up, ok? =) at least you don't have some sucky work attachment prog to waste 2 weeks, which is 1/4 of your hols away, yar? be grateful... lol. i'm ok lah. sorry i'm like sorta short-tempered with you. i'll try to call, k? got a lot of tv shows to watch ya know... and you think pitas' cheem yar? i can teach you sometime when i have the time and patience and the chance to... ^^;; it's not that hard lah. =) argh. there's super sunday after all. stupid i-weekly. >< me wanna watch~ so me not going to sleep, tomorrow cannot wake up at most give a call and say me going for afternoon shift... ^^;; so long! =) nin-chan looked up at the sky at 11:43 p.m.

Friday, November 23, 2001 for fbm

i_i you had one whole post for me... kandoushita... argh. told you my japanese is failing me. why the heck is "ayamaru" = sorry when the kanji is "xie-ru"??? stupid people who created the kanji. lol. >< so it should be... erm... dunno how to say. ^^;; i know why i'm haru, but... it just sounds weird... aki and fuyu sounds fine, but haru and natsu sounds weird lah... dunno lah... you got so many names for me liao, omit that one also daijyoubu rite?? ^^;; ok, 1 more reason for me to be jealous of you: you don't have to go to work on saturdays. i still have work tomorrow!!! >< oh, but i finally got to see annabelle francis today!!! *^_^* though it was only a side view... but she turned and sorta diao me.. i_i ^^;; but she very chio!!! *haha* rarely can you find someone chio-er than me... lol. juz jk. can find someone uglier than me then tell me. *sheesh* how to make me less bhb??? die... and i think it's all because of a certain someone i became bhb... *glares at someone* you should know who you are lah. erm, my birthday prezzie huh... don't know leh... still early lah. ^^;; and i'll not be around in town. >< i'm still trying to talk my parents out of letting me go to gold coast with them though the tix are already bought... ^^;; well, anything's ok... but make sure that it's something i won't buy for myself, ok? hey, you not only sacrificed your beauty sleep ya know... daniel(fang) told me sleeping can make you grow tall... ;) but also dunno whether what that idiot says can be trusted. *lol* well, you must also take care of yourself, yar? *pat pat* me got pimples popping up everywhere... dunno if it's lack of water or stress... it's funny how come i feel so darn tired though i slack the whole day at work. do you feel the same? *haha* you may be interested to know i was playing puzzle bobble on the comp for the whole day... *hee* ok, so maybe that's something i shouldn't be jealous about. everything has their pros and cons, yar? ;) zuo4 ren2 yao4 xue2 hui4 kan4 kai1 dian3, sheng1 huo2 cai2 hui4 guo4 de yu2 kuai4. *yay* i'm learning to be more of an optimist. =) i really wonder how people can change... still remember me in primary school, so carefree, so le guan1... then now, always only think of the bad things... *sigh* it's all part of growing up. lalala~ taikutsu... oh. you forgot. i not only have a fbm and imouto like you. you're my musume too... ^^;; (dunno if musume is correct) >< hafta sleep liaoz, or cannot wake up... told you i was late for work today rite? *sigh* all the best to you on your following week... meanwhilez, relax and enjoy while you can... lol. =) nin-chan looked up at the sky at 11:30 p.m.

Thursday, November 22, 2001 blabber

have to add someone onto my "missing 'em" list. saw her today then realise it. *sigh* how miserable can life get? met her (and some others) for lunch, and when we sorta split up, i suddenly felt lost... also dunno why. kae, though we sorta agreed that ayamaru koto/no hitsuyou ga nai, but if i don't say thanx, i really dunno how to express it. since the time we patched up, i think i really sorta learnt to cherish you... *sigh* think we, if not i, was really stupid at that time... so petty. ^^;; and erm, don't call me haru chan!!! >< it sounds so... weird. and it brings back bad memories ya know... *tsk tsk* onegaii ne... ;) oh, and you've got a small mistake on your webby. it's desat studios, not destat studios. ;) guess i'm more or less feeling better now. maybe it's because... crying. read below. the [she...] part. then you'll know what crying does. lol. gonna stay up late tonight. to watch a crappy show. *haha* wanna see how enxi dies. yeah... so sad for taixi... i'm listening to the song now!!! the mtv so gan ren... hmmm, i wanna learn korean!!! but must tackle japanese first lah, ^^;; then if can i'll switch to channel 8 for witch's condition. *lol* so gan ren also... *lol* though i neva watched it. the dubbing sucks! so i taped it down once, listened to the people speak, and simply got put off. >< *-* hideaki!!! taki!!! <--- [i'm shouting for you at the same time ne, fbm ;)] O-o i realise somehow, i sound like a lesbian... ^^;; i wished i were... *choi* just jk. but i guess what kae told me made me "wake up". i quote, n/m rite? not exact quote lah, but the gist. (mata) "if you don't love yourself, you cannot/will not love others". guess it's sorta true. so i feel so relaxed now. ru shi zhong fu. *lol* oh, fbm, i'm so jealous of you. 1) you can wear jeans 2) you can go to court 3) you can create nice layouts 4) you can add japanese words like 'sagashiteru' on your piccys 5) you have such a good friend like me (ego) *haha* the fifth one was to add humour. but don't think it worked. ^^;; yay, i'm feeling much better!!! but everytime i hear chun zhen or dang ni gu dan ni hui xiang qi shui then i sad again... =( don't say liao. farewell, my friend, alvedazein (sp???!??!?!?!!) goodbye... =) [any german person(kelly, michelle, jason????), tell me if my spelling correct...^^;; nin-chan looked up at the sky at 10:14 p.m.

	Wednesday, November 21, 2001 missing 'em
i miss two people badly. been thinking of them every night and cry. i have no idea why either. i don't want to think of one of them though. it's guess-able who i'm talking about lah. wave of depression yet to be over. *sigh* nin-chan looked up at the sky at 09:58 p.m.

Wednesday, November 21, 2001 fuck off

go and die. that's to me. what kind of an idiot am i? sorry for using a form of vulgarity. (like i really mean it) i don't think i can take it anymore. i just hate myself. why am i such a coward? i've been thinking of commiting suicide since i was in primary 4, 5, 6? but i'm just afraid of the pain. but will dying be more painful than suffering wounds inflicted on the heart? yeah, why don't i think of the happier times? so what if i do? which of the happy things that happened to me never end with me crying? why am i like this? i smile on the outside, and i cry when i'm alone. i admit i only start to think when i'm alone. maybe that's the only time i can think for myself. i don't know what the heck i'm blabbering about. for all pity souls who're reading out there, thank you, and i express my heartfelt apologies to you as well. (like real) *bows* so long. nin-chan looked up at the sky at 09:40 p.m.

Tuesday, November 20, 2001 is it work or me?

been rather tired and sleeping after dinner time. my work isn't very tiring what... so why like that leh?? *sigh* then somemore i sleep (relatively) early liaoz... kaoz, haven't been sleeping before 12 for like the past two months until yesterday... i so guai rite? *haha* shit, i becoming very bhb liaoz. how??? lol. alvyn added something to his blog. i like that... cat-like(if it isn't a cat, that is) thingy. lol. back to fatigue. argh. and i can't seem to open my eyes for long. maybe it's ze crying. lol. like real~ ;) i. am. crazy. lol. oh what the. nin-chan looked up at the sky at 10:02 p.m.

Tuesday, November 20, 2001 ~wave of depression~

another day of work gone! yeah~ lol. not too bad... today was busier than yesterday. had more things to do. wanna see annabelle francis... because me working in jubilee hall, so there're rehearsals going on and i wanna see!!! *haha* alvyn's got a new layout. kirei desuga,(it may be nice but) the grey colour gives me a kinda moody feeling... :( must be happier~ ;) btw, what's with being anti-hentai? lol. state of depression... argh. nin-chan looked up at the sky at 07:18 p.m.

Monday, November 19, 2001 links

i need more links. anyone who has a page to recommend, "good choice, bad choice, only choice"(lol), tell me k? =) gibberish. work didn't turn out to be that bad. *yay* had lotsa time to slack. and the person i'm working with is sooo nice! ;) a new friend made!!! *^_^* but she said mondays are usually 'slower' days, so work load will tend to increase... =( shikashi, watashi wa tensai dakara, daijyoubu!!! *wahahaha* btw, that means because i'm a genius, it's ok!!! yeah... starting to become pai kia, as my friend told me thru an sms today... and i'm also becoming more bhb... yeah man... i rulez. *dodges any flying objects* kk, just joking~ =Þ oh, must practise japanese... or else jlpt on 2nd of dec confirm cannot make it... cannot waste my dad's $24. *haha* and since i have work experience, i only have 3 full days to study... >< that's bad. *sigh* my friend said >< looks like two chicks kissing. ewww. *hehz* if anyone doesn't know what i'm talking about, must ask me k? just in case you don't already know... i'm promoting my guestbook. *haha* i just like to see people sign it... *hint hint* lol. far too obvious. hope i get some response...*hint hint* i'm desperate manz. =Þ and also, if you don't know yet, *^_^* is the action of waving pom poms! lol. ;) i'm very scared... i'm scared that something i don't want to happen will... and the worst is i can't avoid it and i can't stop it. oh bother. haiz. :( nin-chan looked up at the sky at 09:27 p.m.

Sunday, November 18, 2001 regrets

suddenly felt a little bo liao, actually went to sign up for a guestbook for nicholas island, checked out for dead links, whatever. quite happy with it. at least my time wasn't spent rotting away. lol. btw, support me and visit my page! ;) hafta wake up at like 6:45 a.m. tomorrow... so it's like time to sleep now... and i bet i'll be tossing and turning until 2 so it won't make so much of a difference. bleah. why did i sign up for work experience?!?!?!? two precious weeks of my holiday (aka slacking time) gone!!! argh. i hate myself. always making choices i later regret. *whines* i wanna quit! >< i'm such a baby. and i still don't know what to wear. oh bother... nin-chan looked up at the sky at 10:29 p.m.

	Sunday, November 18, 2001 good luck wishes
wasureru maeni... good luck kor, alvyn, and bingxin for your re-exams. ;) nin-chan looked up at the sky at 05:47 p.m.

Sunday, November 18, 2001 ><

mata... archived my page and changed something and so nothing appears on my page! >< stupid me. bleah. work experience starts tomorrow... don't know what to wear. skirt suits. do they want us to wear black skirts with white blouses or just any skirt with any top? *shrugs* if they're gonna make us wash dishes, does it matter? *haha* don't like washing dishes. always try to "escape" from it, and let my daddy do ze job! *wahahaha* i'm crazy man. gonna be stuck in front of the computer for the whole day again, so be prepared for many entries to be added. ^^;; nin-chan looked up at the sky at 01:37 p.m.